That helpless night….

I had never felt so helpless in my life.  Mamma gets those vertigo spells occasionally and yesterday was one of those days . Unfortunately, I was alone as my husband had gone for some meeting and was not expected for at least three to four hours. The maid who usually comes to help Mamma do her daily chores had some guests to attend at her place. Panic stricken I took out the contact list from my diary. The friend list was long but whom could I call at this hour of the night and it was very essential that I had to change Mamma’s diaper and the wet bedsheets and that required to make her stand. I tried my level best to lift her up but as she was in a semi conscious state she could not co-operate with me. For how long could I make her sit on the wet bedsheet. I drew the chair closer to the bed and just dragged her for that was the only way to bring her out of the bed .It must have hurt her but I had no other option left. Finally, on the chair , she looked at me. I kissed her and asked God for forgiveness. I hurriedly put on the new bedsheets and as she was seated ,gave her some porridge to have.

My tired body urged me to have some rest but the medicines ,too had to be brought . I rushed to the doctor leaving Mamma alone for some time ,continuosly praying that she should not attempt getting up on her own. My warm body gave an indication of my risen blood pressure level and the doctor ,too confirmed this and advised me to remain calm lest I become a victim of hypertension. But at such times, nothing works and everything seems to fall on deaf ears.

After giving the first dose of medicine to Mamma, I rang up my friend whose parlour was close by but my luck didn’t seem to work. She was already on her way back home. Desperately , I rang up my husband but he was not reachable. There were tears in my eyes. I tried to divert my attention by putting on the television. It didn’t work out .I tried having my dinner but everything seemed so tasteless. When all things failed, I cried out ,‘Oh God, please help me’ , ‘Now it is only You who can give strength to Mamma . Please help her stand at least for a short while till I pull up her diapers. ‘

I sat next to Mamma ,hugged her tight and wept like a child.  As the drops fell on her gown, she looked up and tried to hold my hand. She was a strong willed woman and she seemed to understand the dilemma I was in.  She gave me a nod ,a sort of hope for me. An hour and half had passed after the administration of medicines and the effect was slowly manifesting itself. She was returning back to a semi normal state. ‘ Can you try getting up ?’ I asked her. She nodded. I was quite elated by her positive reply.

With great effort from both sides (her side and my side) ,I lifted and seated her on the bed. The walker helped her stand for a few seconds,but exhausted she sat down .After many stand ups and sit downs with much difficulty, I finally succeeded in tightening the diaper . My joy knew no bounds as ninety nine percent of the work was done. I thanked her a thousand times and the person above who had given both of us the strength and will power and without whose help, it was an impossible task.

Deep down I knew that God could never let me down. He was always by my side and I had to just remind myself that He was there. The whole world can be busy but He always has some time reserved for me .With folded hands , I gave Him a huge thank you.

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Fear…..

Almost each & every individual must have experienced this emotion sometime or the other in their lives.  Why do people fear? This question has always been & is still there at the back of my mind .  The dictionary explanation of this word is “Emotion caused by impending danger  or pain”.  Impending means future ,that is , something that has yet to take place..But, it is not only the future but even the past that keeps some on the edge.

There may be many reasons that instill fear in a person. One of it is the inability to erase out any traumatizing incident of the past. Or ,in many cases, one is phobic ,too. Like ,if a person was unsuccessful in anything which he had attempted in the past, eg, driving, swimming, horseriding, public speaking, flying, or some disability in them,like stammering. When they see others performing much better  ,these past failures create a complex in them & make it impossible for them to move forward in life.

The next dreaded fear is of the future. That  which is yet to happen, that is the unknown.The fear of the future is so great that it completely destroys us. It takes a toll on our mental & physical being ,too.  The cold sweats, pressure rising, severe headaches due to over thinking, body pain due to tension, severe stress leading to various problems including heart stroke.

Strange ,isn’t it ? That we are tied up with the past & future as the beautiful present  just passes by in front of us.

Why do we have to fear?

Think of the worst that can happen. That will give us an idea as to the extent of damage that we may cause to ourselves by fearing. By this way ,one can reduce the fear to a great extent.

And whatever has to happen ,will happen & whatever happens has to  happen for the best. Just keeping this in mind will also make us accept things in a positive way.

Having faith in oneself is half the work done.

If we have confidence & will power , then nothing can stop us from achieving anything in life.  just a little courage & push is all that is needed.