That helpless night….

I had never felt so helpless in my life.  Mamma gets those vertigo spells occasionally and yesterday was one of those days . Unfortunately, I was alone as my husband had gone for some meeting and was not expected for at least three to four hours. The maid who usually comes to help Mamma do her daily chores had some guests to attend at her place. Panic stricken I took out the contact list from my diary. The friend list was long but whom could I call at this hour of the night and it was very essential that I had to change Mamma’s diaper and the wet bedsheets and that required to make her stand. I tried my level best to lift her up but as she was in a semi conscious state she could not co-operate with me. For how long could I make her sit on the wet bedsheet. I drew the chair closer to the bed and just dragged her for that was the only way to bring her out of the bed .It must have hurt her but I had no other option left. Finally, on the chair , she looked at me. I kissed her and asked God for forgiveness. I hurriedly put on the new bedsheets and as she was seated ,gave her some porridge to have.

My tired body urged me to have some rest but the medicines ,too had to be brought . I rushed to the doctor leaving Mamma alone for some time ,continuosly praying that she should not attempt getting up on her own. My warm body gave an indication of my risen blood pressure level and the doctor ,too confirmed this and advised me to remain calm lest I become a victim of hypertension. But at such times, nothing works and everything seems to fall on deaf ears.

After giving the first dose of medicine to Mamma, I rang up my friend whose parlour was close by but my luck didn’t seem to work. She was already on her way back home. Desperately , I rang up my husband but he was not reachable. There were tears in my eyes. I tried to divert my attention by putting on the television. It didn’t work out .I tried having my dinner but everything seemed so tasteless. When all things failed, I cried out ,‘Oh God, please help me’ , ‘Now it is only You who can give strength to Mamma . Please help her stand at least for a short while till I pull up her diapers. ‘

I sat next to Mamma ,hugged her tight and wept like a child.  As the drops fell on her gown, she looked up and tried to hold my hand. She was a strong willed woman and she seemed to understand the dilemma I was in.  She gave me a nod ,a sort of hope for me. An hour and half had passed after the administration of medicines and the effect was slowly manifesting itself. She was returning back to a semi normal state. ‘ Can you try getting up ?’ I asked her. She nodded. I was quite elated by her positive reply.

With great effort from both sides (her side and my side) ,I lifted and seated her on the bed. The walker helped her stand for a few seconds,but exhausted she sat down .After many stand ups and sit downs with much difficulty, I finally succeeded in tightening the diaper . My joy knew no bounds as ninety nine percent of the work was done. I thanked her a thousand times and the person above who had given both of us the strength and will power and without whose help, it was an impossible task.

Deep down I knew that God could never let me down. He was always by my side and I had to just remind myself that He was there. The whole world can be busy but He always has some time reserved for me .With folded hands , I gave Him a huge thank you.

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WHEN GOD VISITED ME……….IN MY DREAMS.

I heard You had come
I left everything & rushed home 
To be with You

To spend some joyous moments
Just the two of us
Sipping the cup of Love & Passion
Watching the world
Your beautiful creation
Slowly pass by

Discussing Life of Bliss & Joy
And many unpleasant happenings ,too
Of corruption , rapes, scams & violence
I , reminding You of being
Very unjust & unfair to some

All these leading to small arguments
I confronting You
Asking for an explanation
Cajoling You to unfold
The strange mysteries of Your Creation

You ,unperturbed, by my anguish
Give a smile, just an assuring smile
Lighting up everything around

Soaking in Your Warmth
So Pure & Divine
Wrapping this small world of mine
In Your Arms
Inhaling the Fragrance of Your Love

A transient Divine Light passing thro’
Experiencing a feeling of Oneness
Floating in the air
I surrender………..merging myself
Completely with You……..

The presence of God

The river was overflowing & this gentleman wanted to cross it. There was a wooden plank & he saw a person standing on the other side. He called Him several times & asked Him to hold his hand & help him cross the river. The Person on the other side told him to be brave & to have faith in Him while crossing.The gentleman got angry & started abusing Him but he had to cross the river at any cost. It was a very windy day & various thoughts came to his mind. What if I get drowned then who will look after my family etc etc.

The Person on the other side knew what was going on the gentleman’s mind. He assured him that nothing will go wrong. The gentleman cursed Him & said that if anything untoward happens then He would have to face the consequences. Saying this the gentleman started crossing the river. The Person on the other side was just smiling. Finally the gentleman reached the other side & in anger he asked the Person “Why couldn’t u come to my side & help me cross the river by holding my hand?” The Person smiled & said ” If I would have come on the other side then there would have been no support for the plank & the plank would have fallen into the river .I was standing here & supporting the plank so that u can reach here safely” Saying this ,the Person disappeared. The gentleman could not believe his eyes. “O! What a fool I was not to recognise Him” He learnt a lesson that faith was very important in life ” Have faith in God.do ur duty & leave the rest to Him”